Happy Scared/Scared Happy
Do you ever worry that you might be too happy? Or is it just a Scottish curse,
this thing of believing that just when you feel at your most euphoric the sky will come along and fall on your head - again?
That's how I feel right now, and I have much to be happy about, in the photography competition I got a highly commended for the "patterns in nature" part of the competition.
I'm content with that as I don't think I entered my best stuff, I'm not good at picture selection, it's a bit too much like shopping to me, I lose focus on choosing the single item and get lost in the whole! But I made the last 3 out of over 500 entries, which isn't bad.
It was a good night, one of the sponsors was a champagne company and we got free glasses throughout! And Laurie Campbell spoke to me and even remembered my name from last year. We had a lovely chat about photographing snowdrops. He told me he's used sheeting before to put a tent over a whole drift to stop broken sunlight from marring the shot. He is a lovely man.
Second reason to be happy is that my lovely husband told me on Valentine's Day that he's taking me to Chelsea Flower Show in May - another lifelong ambition achieved!
Third reason is I have really nice friends, N is back from Spain and she brought me lovely Spanish dry cured ham - it just melts in the mouth. And we're going to translate a particular poem that's going to be in the book into Spanish and do both versions at the launch.
IM met me on Thursday and we saw the Ansel Adams exhibition, which was wonderful, those old silver prints are just stunning. I enjoyed his landscapes, the majesty of Yosemite etc, but I also liked his macro/close-up work too, and his interest in all sorts of little country churches, from Mexican to Mormon.
And B came by on Friday afternoon and we had a lovely walk on the beach, which was empty but for us and a few surfers - I love winter beaches, something about the quality of the light and the emptiness.
So I feel good, but I'm keeping a close watch on the sky, just in case!
This is a picture of a part of Edinburgh that I like. This was taken in summer, but the architecture and the colours work just as well in winter.
posted by apprentice at
12:32 pm
5 Comments:
Congratulations! It sounds like a very rewarding occasion and champers too. Re scared - I'm awful. Practically every day I visualise the worst scenario just so it won't take me by surprise, and then I try to put it out of my mind and be happy. We are all hostages to fortune. You've had bad times, now enjoy the good. Oh and I've never yet been to CFS so I expect a full report:)
The word for that kind of sheer lovely happiness is, I think, EXQUISITE.
( Well, with me, that's the word that always comes to mind...)
It's wonderful to hear your happiness, Anna. Well done on your photo success and on all your friends and family too - your hand helps shape and bind them all together - you don't earn love and friendship like that just by luck!
You've known great fear and worry in your life, maybe that makes the good stuff all the more delicious. I dunno. In any case, I wish you many, many more years of the good stuff.
Thank you, especially for the nice words. The new me feels it's good to acknowledge the good times, they re precious and more than offset the bad.
Congratulations all round. Happiness isn't earned, but it's tempting to say you deserve it.
I find it difficult to just enjoy being happy, nothing painful or terrible has happened to me, at least not for a long time. This makes me a) fell guilty because it does to other people, and b) fear that the chances of something coming a long sooner or later must therefore be all the greater!
amazing how we conspire against ourselves ...
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