Recovered

Well feeling better. I did a three mile hike on Tuesday with all my gear, including a heavy tripod, as I was taking shots of wild snowdrops. I really enjoyed it at the time, but was exhausted afterward. The chemo I got for the first 4 cycles can affect the heart and I had half of a life time dose, and I think it has had an effect, I just don't have the stamina that I used to have, plus I can only use one shoulder to lug stuff as the other arm swells up if I put too much weight on it. It is not old age! ;)

Anyway it was worth it to be out in the wilds with only the birds for company, there were pheasants in the woods, it's a shoot, and swans and geese on the loch. The biggest fright I got was from a woodpecker drilling directly over my head, he made such a noise I thought that the branch was going to come down and scone me.

I'm really enjoying the Idlewild track on the freebie CD I mentioned, it's called The Weight of Years and it comes from a collaboration with the poet Edwin Morgan. It is part of the Ballads and the Book project that has combined Scots musicians and writers. For more info see here

The thing I like most about it is that young musicians are working with older writers, that something you don't hear or see too often these days.

Here's what on the album:

Mike Heron & John Burnside - 'Song For Irena'
De Rosa & Michel Faber - 'Steam Comes Off Our House'
James Yorkston & Bill Duncan - 'A Calvinist Narrowly Avoids Pleasure'
Foxface & Rody Gorman - 'Dreamcatcher'
Lord Cut-Glass & Alasdair Gray - 'A Sentimental Song'
Aidan Moffat And The Best Ofs & Ian Rankin - 'The Sixth Stone'
Norman Blake & John Burnside - 'Girl'
Karine Polwart & Edwin Morgan - 'The Good Years'
Sons And Daughters & A L Kennedy - 'The War On Love Song'
Alasdair Roberts & Robin Robertson - 'The Leaving'
Strike The Colours & Rody Gorman - 'Message In A Bottle'
Aereogramme & Hal Duncan - 'If You Love Me You'd Destroy Me'
Malcolm Middleton & Alan Bissett - 'The Rebel On His Own Tonight'
Trashcan Sinatras & Ali Smith - 'Half An Apple'
Vashti Bunyan & Rodge Glass - 'The Fire'
King Creosote & Laura Hird - 'Where And When'
Emma Pollock & Louise Welsh - 'Jesus On The Cross'
Idlewild & Edwin Morgan - 'The Weight Of Years'

I've been busy with photographs, but I wrote this very short wee poem to say something about how I felt about my son's accident.

Sylvia Plath

Child

"Your clear eye is the one absolutely beautiful thing.
I want to fill it with color and ducks,
The zoo of the new"

Clear Eye

I filled that one absolutely beautiful thing
with ducks and shells,penguins and panto.
I kept you whole, intact, all of a piece.

Your clear eye was my pride and my joy.
But look what happens, look what you do,
just when I hand you over to you!

Plath:Collected Poems

My husband bought me this for Christmas. It's the most complete collection of her poems ever assembled.

I already have the Ariel Restored Edition, and I've found it devastating to read and to see how she was honing herself into this arrow that is set to leave all behind her, including her children.

One of my many plans is to scan all the drafts into the pc and then line them side by side to visually see the development of the poem. (But I may just stick them up on the wall instead.)

The Collected Poems book goes from the late 1950s right through to her death, and interestingly also includes a set of early poems in a section called "Juvenilia" from her time at university in the States. The growth she made in her short life is just astounding.

This may sound crass but I really wish there had been modern anti-depressants available back then and perhaps more recognition of the symptoms of post natal depression, as it might just have saved her life.

The poems are wonderful, though at times I feel a bit like a voyeur. But it's not all doom and gloom, Balloons is funny and sad all at the same time, and Child is so touching:

"Your clear eye is the one absolutely beautiful thing.
I want to fill it with color and ducks,
The zoo of the new"

I'm also struck by her fantastic ability to capture nature,and I especially like the bee poems. We have a hive in the "big garden" and I've been guilty of taking the lid off and photographing the organised chaos inside - without smoke or special clothing I might add. She exactly captures everything about a hive and bees, especially the sound.

Here's an interview she did in 1962, the year before she died
where she mentions liking the woman who taught her about bees more than most poets. She said she liked people with practical skills. I do too, my biggest hero as a child was the man who taught me to tie fishing flies, he had hands like hams and the patience of a saint.

Anyway lots to savour.

Mixed bag

I enjoyed the Scottish Poetry Pamphlet Fair. There was a lot of variety on display in the stalls, and I bought the lovely Rob's pamphlet and a children's one for my young newphew, which has lots of great illustrations in it too. I look forward to reading Rob's. I sold a few copies of mine and was encouraged when Tessa Ransford stopped and spoke to me. She said she too had had treatment for cancer, and she's be apprehensive when she heard I was to read a cancer poem, but that she had liked its tone very much indeed. I made more sales after the reading than before it, so that was encouraging.

Anyway enough already, on to other things. I had to laugh at my husband, he's told me to tell my son what he'd like for Christmas from him, which is either the Paul Weller's Greatest Hits, or, and get this, a nose hair trimmer!

Never though I'd lived to see the day when someone from the Jam and nasal hair were mentioned in the same sentence. I wonder if he'll pogo while trimming his hairs, he will if the thing gets snarls up in them, ;)!